Sex God of the World Fernando Montana Sighting – On Top Chef!!!@!!!

There's no denying that this season's roster on Top Chef are incredibly dull and there's no aesthetic loveliness to be found among any of them. There's no godly Sam T., or even a Harold. The only possibility was the slightly cute in a white trash way (yes, there can be such a thing as hot white trash but it's a rarity you won't find 99.9% of the time) Clay, who was the first to go. (This season of the Next Food Network Star has the same problem, but it's still more watchable – and I'll never get over my love for last season's magnificent Andrew Schumacher.)

But tonight I got an ineffably lovely respite for a brief second when, as the chefs were catering a gourmet BBQ, I caught sight of one of the most exquisitely beautiful Latin porn boys ever – the epically sublime Fernando Montana. (My reaction obviously was to scream "Holy f*ck" at the top of my lungs.) Fernando only did a few rare films for Falcon and one for Hothouse over the span of a few years, but the second I first caught sight of him I fell in mad love (yes, again). And there are only three other men in the history of porn that I've wanted to see get f*cked as much on film (and whom never have) – Manuel Torres, Vin Nolan (who did get gangf*cked in a scene in the documentary Sex/Life in L.A., but as it's not a real porn film you don't get to see anything good), and Aiden Shaw. Evidently Fernando must live in Miami, along with fellow Latin porn god Alec Martinez, who thankfully has gotten f*cked (and even nightsticked once) in many films.

To see him on Top Chef is something lovely and brilliant (though clearly the producers can't get any credit for it) that I never ever ever would've expected. And it's a beautiful thing.

And I have to add that these photos don't begin to articulate how lovely he really is, but they're the best I could find. Seek him out on film to see him in all his real sublimity.